Fireproof

After wanting to watch this movie for a long time, I finally was able to watch it together with Ci Santi. I was so touched by this movie as the characters husband and wife went through a difficult phase in their marriage and was about to get divorce. Both of them think that the husband did not respect the wife, vice versa. The husband, as a firefighter, always save lives of thousands, but he almost could not save his own life -- his marriage. After going through counseling with his dad who is a Christian, the dad suggested to hold on the divorce for 40 days and meanwhile, the dad gave him a book that contains different types of acts/gesture of love to his wife as "the love dare" that he needs to do for 40 days. The husband really tried his best to follow the book, but the wife always rejected him. Halfway through, the husband wanted to give up as this didn't work. He told his dad: "How can I love someone that rejected me many many times." Then it dawned on him that he has rejected Jesus many many times and still Jesus still loves him a lot. The dad explained that only if he accepts Jesus and know what love means, he'll understand what love is and can love his wife unconditionally. It is a decision whether she deserves it or not. So between day 1-20, the husband basically only did what he needed to do -- without real love. After knowing and accepting Jesus, he began to start loving his wife, accepting her, and respecting her well despite her harsh words/actions. The wife slowly realized that her husband is different, not selfish.

So what lessons did I learn?
1. Marriage takes effort.
2. Romance is needed to make a marriage work.
3. Love and Respect are very important!
4. When there's fire in your marriage, be fireproof! We need to be able to withstand our marriage despite any kind of difficulties and hard times in the marriage.
5. To love someone unconditionally and commit to him/her is not based on a feeling, it is a decision to love them whether he/she deserves it or not.
6. Refrain from negative comments (James 1:19)
7. Do at least one gesture of an act of kindness a day
8. Show her/him that you are thinking about them
9. Ask if he/she needs anything
10. Praying for our partner
11. Listening to them
12. Studying them. It is a lifelong journey that draws him closer to her.
13. Watch out for the "parasites" such as addiction/gambling. Destroy those parasites otherwise it will destroy you.
14. Lead your heart, not follow your heart.

Woman is like a rose;
If you treat her well,
she will bloom,
If not,
she will wilt.